The following excerpts give a feel for Baby on Board’s message and style. Enjoy!
“When you found out you were pregnant, you knew you were creating a life. But did you actually think about creating a life? Not just your baby’s life, but your new life? You know things are going to change with a baby, but have you really stopped to consider what those changes mean for you?”
“We invite you to explore what motherhood is for you. Whether you’re a first-time expectant mother or have had a baby before, you’ve never been here - expecting this child at this time of your life with these kinds of experiences behind you. No matter how accomplished you are in any of the areas of your life, you’re still brand new at this. Scary? A little – especially for those who are used to having it all figured out.”
“There’s no doubt – having a baby can stir up a lot of worries. Those little voices in your head go crazy when they sense a big change coming. “You should be careful!” they holler. “Do you really know what you are doing?” Whether you’re worrying about weight gain or hassling over hospitals, there are dozens of ways to work yourself up.”
“There is plenty of advice for expecting moms —sometimes too much—on everything from stretch marks to strollers. Books, magazines, websites, your mother, your mother-in-law, your friends, and even strangers are eager to tell you what to do. They all think you should do things their way because it worked for them.
We think you should do things your way. We believe you have your own answers, or at least the ability to find them. Only you know what’s truly right for you. We’ve designed this book to help you release your innate knowledge, wisdom, and insight in creating your new life as a woman who is also a mother.”
“By going through this process, you prepare for motherhood in a powerful way. This is not about creating your baby’s life, it’s about creating a life into which you want to bring a baby.”
“An important part of this process is looking inward. It’s much more common for women to look outward for advice and answers to their questions about impending motherhood than to look for the answers inside themselves. This is the time to awaken to all of your feelings about having a baby. You can allow yourself to be scared, surprised, embarrassed, stumped, or delighted by what you find. And whatever you discover is just perfect.”
“As a first time mother, you may not know much about babies, but you can know a whole a lot about yourself. Being clear about your values will keep you grounded and help guide your decisions. Although the specific things that are important to you may change after your baby is born, your values endure. For instance, you may have always expressed your value for health by hitting the gym every morning. After the baby arrives, you may express that same value a different way, perhaps by getting enough sleep or choosing your foods more carefully. You can honor your values even if you express them differently in your new life.“
“Living in sync with your values is key to fulfillment and contentment. In order to live your values, you need to get to know them, understand what they mean to you, and remember them so you can stay true to yourself. As a result, you can give more to your baby without giving away your self.”
“Motherhood is full of beliefs, and it can become pretty confusing. Whether you’re choosing cloth or disposable diapers, debating approaches for how to get your baby to sleep through the night, or thinking about the effect working would have on your life and baby, everyone will have a belief about which way is “right. If you don’t consciously choose your beliefs—just like if you’re not clear about your values—you can be easily swayed and end up making decisions based on what’s right for somebody else.”
“Your list will contain your specific desires for new motherhood. It can be a combination of the practical (like a great jog stroller), the abstract (like peace of mind), the mundane (diapers stacked at the ready), the exhilarating (confidence in a new phase of life), the public (a day to introduce your baby to your coworkers) and the private (a purse-sized photo album just for you). You determine which things will make the biggest difference in helping you feel fulfilled as a woman and a mother. “
“Letting go isn’t always easy—especially when you see some things that used to be near and dear to you on that list. It also can be challenging to let go of old issues and habits. As one mother said, “This might be the hardest part of the process. Even things I absolutely want to let go of, like guilt or self-doubt, have that familiarity and odd comfort quality to them.” Have the courage to write down what you truly wish to let go. Give up the “good” for the “best.” When your baby arrives you will have the space and freedom your family needs.”
“Claiming things for yourself isn’t always easy. It requires a sense of entitlement that’s not always second nature for women. It is your right and your privilege as a mother to create a life that works for you—all of you, including your husband or partner, and your baby.”
“Whether your obstacles are small (like not knowing your company’s policy on paid family leave) or more formidable (like working in a job that doesn’t have family leave), you will learn techniques for overcoming them. So roll up your sleeves. You’re about to contend with the challenges in your way.”
“In some cases, challenges may not change but your thinking can. You can use the skill of changing your viewpoint to see the solution differently – to learn to accept the way things are and work with them instead of against them. This is especially helpful when challenges really are immoveable. Here are some examples.
- Amanda’s husband lost his job in her fourth month of pregnancy.
- JoAnn found out she was having twins.
- BJ’s adoption agency called with a baby for them to bring home that very day.
The challenges for these women took on a new urgency. In these cases, the mothers learned to change their perspective instead of the circumstances. Their questions shifted from, “How can I make this situation change” to “How can I make this situation work?”
“The advantage of taking action now is that when the baby does come, you can focus all of your attention on him or her. You probably won’t be too keen on rethinking your whole entire life when you have a brand new baby at home. You can become the woman and mother you want to be now, so that this will be the mother and life waiting for your baby.“
“We know that these actions take discipline and focus. It is a commitment. But remember: if you have followed this process, every action you take will reflect your true values, beliefs and intention. As a result, what you are doing is literally propelling your new life into being, just as you are bringing a new being into life.”
“What we do know is that if motherhood knocks you off your feet, you have everything you need to pull yourself up. You will show up for your baby in the best possible way. As it gets easier and your new life takes shape, you will find more strength inside yourself than you ever imagined. Your resourcefulness, courage, and creativity give you almost everything you need to figure out life as a mother. Your love will fill in the gaps.”