Good Day!

It is a busy time for me. A bunch of deadlines, an overflowing task list and many opportunities. The plate is looking pretty full. So, once again I need to remember how to say so “no” in order to keep my life in balance. This week I said “no” to daily venti chai lattes, beating myself up, and settling for mediocre childcare. Consequently, I was able to say “yes” to self control, loving myself for who I am, and honoring the full potential of my child.

I believe that the ability to say no is so critical, I made it Lesson #6 in our book, Baby on Board: Becoming a Mother Without Losing Yourself. My goal is that every mother knows how to say no gracefully with certainty and confidence. Scroll down to Your Coaching Moment to practice Saying No.

All the best from your coach,
Amy
Founder, Empowered Motherhood LLC

Amy with her son, Matthew

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Saying No

For any mother, “NO” is a word you hear and say a lot - usually as soon as your child starts to walk. However, many women are not necessarily adept with saying no in their life as a whole. Some women find it easy to answer with a decisive and cheerful, “no thank you!” Other women hedge or avoid giving an answer. Some women feel so uncomfortable that they end up saying “yes” when they mean “no.”

The reasons include not wanting to disappoint, feeling that you can’t say no because no one else will do it, or as one momma put it, “if I am able to do it, then I should.” I find that stress and exhaustion can suck the ability to give the strong ‘no’ every time. Low self-esteem is another culprit - that feeling of not being entitled to say no. Another is low expectations - saying yes to something less than desirable because you don’t feel like anything better will come along. Or the opposite - the super mom who believes she should be able to do anything and everything.

For me, all of these reasons trigger me to say yes when I should say no. And also because there are so many things I want to do and experience - sometimes I say yes because it’s just hard to choose and prioritize which good thing comes first.

However, a good “NO!” can mean the difference to living your life with purpose or living your life by default. The ability to discern when to say no and to actually say it with conviction, is an incredible skill to have for the rest of your life AND to teach your children.

Try these two tips to help boost your “NO” skill:

1. Remember what you are saying yes to: Instead of focusing on how hard it is to say no, focus on what you are actually saying YES to when you are saying NO to something else.

2. Keep it in perspective: When it comes to saying no, it’s easy to blow the consequences out of proportion. Asking a key question or two can put things back in perspective. Ask yourself: “Will I remember this decision a year from now?” If not, stop sweating and do what you want.

COACH YOURSELF: When is it hard for YOU to say no? What are some areas in your life as a woman and mother or mother-to-be that are calling out for a no? Pick one and practice saying no today.

Email me at amy@empoweredmotherhood.com and share how you do! And click here to see our newsletter archive.

Whether you are a brand new mother or have been doing this for years, we are ready to help you!

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DISCLAIMER: This newsletter was created to provide information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. If you have any concerns about your health or the health of your baby, you should always consult with a physician or health care professional.